From the blog of Edward Champion (Return of the Reluctant), which I’ve always read, but now am reading with even more intense interest.
1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
For a minute here or there. I used to love them, by the way, but last summer, I realized something had changed, and my stomach wasn’t up for it. Yet I still love log flume type rides. Go figure.
3. When’s the last time you’ve been sledding?
This past winter, in Patterson Park, which will make just about anyone optimistic about the human condition and/or immigration. On a snowy day, diverse populations converge on Patterson Park in a way they seldom do in Baltimore. Yuppie homesteaders, South American immigrants, kids from the poor neighborhoods just blocks away.
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
I’d rather sleep with someone I love, but I sleep more soundly when I’m alone.
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
I believe I don’t have all the answers, so why not?
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yes, but then it occurs to me that I can’t come up with a more clever answer than that, so maybe not.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
I don’t know. But I do know that women are more likely to die at the hands of someone known to them than someone unknown. So if you ask me which is more likely — that O.J. killed his wife, or that the LAPD concocted a conspiracy to frame O.J., I think it’s the former.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
I need more. As a role model? As Brad Pitt’s wife? As a goodwill ambassador? Movie star? BFF?
9. Do you stay friends with your ex’s?
10. Do you know how to play poker?
Sorta, but I wouldn’t be any good at it, so why bother?
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
I think my record is 20 hours.
12. What’s your favorite commercial?
The Diet Pepsi one with the baseball player who came home, and his dear old dad was waiting at the train station. I still cry thinking about it.
13. What are you allergic to?
14. If you’re driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?
I don’t necessarily wait until the middle of the night.
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
The Yankees, because I loathe teams that romanticize their failings. That means you, too, Cubs fans.
17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Many times. I also once fell through the ice and almost drowned.
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Seventy percent of the time.
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
I’m not sure, but I almost certainly was with my college roommates.
20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
21. What’s the one thing on your mind now?
Those best of the Beatles albums, one in red, the other in blue.
22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass Barbie is?
I know she’s not an official Barbie. I also know that Bratz dolls are kicking Barbie’s ass.
23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
24. What cell service do you use?
No idea. Someone else pays for it, so he can tell me when he’s going to be late.
25. Do you like Sushi?
26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
27. What do you wear to bed?
Depends, but always something.
28. Been caught stealing?
29. What shoe size do you have?
9.5 And I am baffled why anyone would buy shoes too small.
30. Do you truly hate anyone?
Yes, but it changes day by day.
31. Classic Rock or Rap?
Both. In fact, I can’t think of a musical genre I don’t like.
32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
33. Favorite Song?
Today: It Always Happens to Me, as sung by Chet Baker. Tomorrow, something else.
34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?
Sure. I’ve also sung.
35. What food do you find disgusting?
Octopus with suckers.
36. Do you sing in the shower?
Yes I have sung in the shower.
37. Did you ever play, “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”?
Nope, but I know a boy who would whip it out for no reason. No quid pro quo, no “playing doctor.” I rather admired his openess.
38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Actually . . . no. If you’re my friend, I love you. I might say something behind your back that I’d never say to your face, but it would be sorrowful and muted, information that I was withholding because it’s hurtful. Why would you be friends with someone you want to mock?
39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Yes, but not often enough.
40. Have you ever been punched in the face?
No, but I took one in the stomach in the Billy Goat Tavern, and the guy was thrown out at Mike Royko’s insistence.