By Request

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. . . and written in “just the facts” Memory Project style. Here’s my experience on The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson.

I arrived in Los Angeles Wednesday night after a blessedly uneventful flight. Just before leaving for the airport, I had done a “pre-interview” with one of the show’s producers. She told me that the interview would be unlike any other I had done on television. I confessed to being a fan and a nerd (not necessarily in that order), so I had seen the show quite a bit and also gone back to watch author interviews on Youtube. I talked too much, which I think worried her a bit.

Left to our own devices for much of Thursday, my SO (in Los Angeles for his own stuff) took a very long walk, almost six miles or so, ate lunch in a restaurant that is very proud of having been featured in the film HEAT, then went back to the hotel, which is famous for having been featured in PRETTY WOMAN. Car came to pick me up and we went to the CBS studios, where I had my own “dressing room.” SO was busy doing his own business for a while, so I fiddled with e-mail, brooded about static cling, and wished I had brought the divine book I was reading. (New Elinor Lipman. I love everything she writes.) Was called into makeup, which required quite some time. The makeup artist was a man — Trent IIRC — who also is an artist. Had worked for MAC, then a soap opera. Michelle then took charge of my hair. I wish I lived in a parallel universe where they were there for me every day, but it’s not to be. Michelle said she had looked at some photos of me online, but thought I would look better with my hair flipped up. I told her that I trusted her completely and she should do whatever she thought best. At one point, when she had a clump of my hair piled on my head as she was teasing it around the crow, she asked: “But what if I told you to go out like this?” I said: “I’m from Baltimore. I would just assume this was the new cool thing in LA and we hadn’t heard about it yet.”

Lisa, the producer who had interviewed me, dropped by and reminded me: Keep it punchy, “Craig is your eyeline,” go with the flow. The sound guy came by and we realized that the only place to clip the wireless microphone was on the waistband of my underwear, so I did that by myself. The show had started by now and we were watching it. I was warned that Howie Mandel, the guest before me, could end up going long, in which case, my segment would air at a later date.

Lisa walked me to the set, where I stood on a taped line and wait for the introduction. She said if I was nervous, I should just go ahead and cop to it. But I wasn’t, only concerned that I would trip walking up the steps to my chair. New shoes. Hmmm, I think it was Oscar Wilde who said to be wary of anything that required new clothes and here I was in a new dress** and new shoes.

I walked out, then: Author photo/Book/memoirs/John Waters/Baltimore and Glasgow, similarities thereof/John Waters/Mr. Rogers/I blurt out how much I admired his novel, which I read on the plane trip* and it’s done.

Nice little literary conversation as the music comes up, about something that happened while writing his novel, and I think I’ll keep that to myself just because I should keep something to myself, no?

Because Ferguson is an admirer of The Wire, he asked to meet my SO afterwards and we had a nice chat. I also came away with a copy of his memoir, which I started last night. It’s quite good and, despite what he claimed, I have a hunch he didn’t make it all up. I think he’s one of those uncanny people who really can remember what he wore for his first passport photo.

Me? Not a chance, and I actually have my first passport photo.

As I wrote in this space last summer, my life makes me laugh. It is an absurd and improbable adventure for a newspaper journalist, especially one who was never on the A team. (I think I did good work, but I never felt as if I made it to the upper rungs, in the eyes of my bosses and some of the reporters who were on that top rung. And I am grateful to them all because their disdain was great fuel.) I probably don’t deserve to be having as much fun as I’m having, so all I can do is be appreciative of it.

*See “nerd,” above.

**Lizzie, frequent contributor here, gets to take credit/blame for the dress and shoes, indirectly, because she sent me a bunch of links and one of those led me to the dress I chose, and the shoes were recommended on the same page.

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39 thoughts on “By Request”

  3. i was afraid that the generally maniacally loquacious howie would run over your time–and while i often find him funny in interviews, last night did not–was glad to see the back of him and the front of you. :)

    as marjorie and i commented last night, the tone of the interview was nice, and it was great fun to see you LA Style. lol-i wondered about the shoes–you were doing Careful Walk, though i wasn’t sure if it was due to broadcast caution or newness of heels or both.

    enjoyed it very much, and grateful to have seen it. am now curious about cleveland, the only city mentioned i have not visited. i have not been to moscow in years, but it is much more likely i will see cleveland before i revisit moscow!

    even more interesting about CF’s memoir is that i assume that for much of the time period covered he was quite the accomplished tippler. cannot remember when he quit.

    i remember my first passport photo and going to get it all done, waiting for it to arrive in the mail in LA–could it possibly be that was 30 years ago? ack. travel was certainly much more genteel then, and the world seemed vaster–

    thanks for the reportage!

    //karen

  4. btw, laura, i too have often thought of the general wonderfulness of having a dresser, stylist, and makeup person see to my daily needs…ahhhhhh…

    //karen

  6. Linda, the memoir is “American on Purpose” but unless you are hooked up like Laura (!), it won’t be published until September 15th.

  7. link from today’s online nyt book section to an article 11may09–
    //snip//

    Ursula K. Le Guin, the science fiction writer, was perusing the Web site Scribd last month when she came across digital copies of some books that seemed quite familiar to her. No wonder. She wrote them, including a free-for-the-taking copy of one of her most enduring novels, �The Left Hand of Darkness.�
    Neither Ms. Le Guin nor her publisher had authorized the electronic editions. To Ms. Le Guin, it was a rude introduction to the quietly proliferating problem of digital piracy in the literary world. �I thought, who do these people think they are?� Ms. Le Guin said. �Why do they think they can violate my copyright and get away with it?�

    //snip//

    loved stephen king’s and harlan ellison’s comments. yet another reason not to like the kindle. :)

    http://bit.ly/zuBOm

    //karen

  10. Thanks for sharing….Ferguson is a new treat in our household, but seen only through YouTube. Looking forward to seeing it.

    Also look forward to seeing the SO on Real Time tonight. Though the Dowd column was too twee for me, she gave a nice shout out at the end.

  11. Thanks, Kelly. I was surprised by a comment on the previous entry that Ferguson is “odd,” but I’ve been a fan for so long — going back to his time on The Drew Carey Show — that I found it all familiar, in an unfamiliar way. His rhythms are his own, which is what makes the show fun.

  13. You got a big hug and kiss at the end! Not many get the H&K!!!

    When Ken Bruen was on, Mr Bruen hardly got a word in. You got in whole sentences!!! It was great!!

    I find Mr Ferguson delightful, especially when he goes off on some tangent and gets himself lost. And I read his book was actually quite good – surprisingly dark.

  14. Laura:

    I love your account of your visit to the “The Late, Late Show.” I’m sorry I missed the interview!

    To me, you will always be the young reporter I worked the night shift with at the San Antonio Light as I was struggling with the decision to leave my unbelievably short stint as a GA and move to Austin to work for a senator (that I ended up hating). You were funny, inquisitive, a breath of fresh air in the newsroom – and a great dancer with long, long legs. (You are frozen in my memory dancing freely and expressively with me to a not-so-good blues band at the Broadway 50-50 one night after the papers rolled off the presses.) I’ve always been sorry I never got to really know you.

    I am very happy for your success and happiness. You absolutely deserve to be having all the fun and reward that comes with your incredible talent! Don’t ever question that! I love your books and I’m getting ready to read the newest one.

    All my best,

    Ken Slavin

  15. Ken,

    As this blog attests, my memory is hinky, but one of the images it holds on to is you at the 50-50, cigarette in hand.

    And, Jen, no brown-nosing here, but I really, really liked BETWEEN THE BRIDGE AND THE RIVER and could have spoken of nothing else. It’s written in true omniscient style, a bold choice for a first-time novelist, and it’s funny and weird and profound.

  16. Laura, I am completely jealous that you met Craig. He is my TV boyfriend of many years. You definitely held your own with him and the whole interview seemed so friendly and relaxed. Sometimes he writes funny things on the guests’ welcome cards…what was yours like?

  18. Continuing on in Colleen’s vein: did he sign his book to you? Did you sign your book to him? Did he smell good? (Something that watching television can’t answer for me.) I like a good smelling man!

    And….there is no backstage crew worth a damn that will not have a can of Static Guard on hand at all times. When pre-show static cling gives you worry, ask to borrow some and spray yourself!

    It was great fun watching you on the show. Thanks for sharing TMP style re-cap.

  19. My static cling issue resolved itself nicely.

    Ferguson does two shows on Thursday — it kills me that I didn’t get a glimpse of Ewan McGregor — so he had to go back to work before his very kind staff person went off to get me a copy of his book. So, no mutual signing party.

    As for smell — I remember nothing, and I have a pretty good sense of smell. Although, come to think of it, my olfactory senses were overwhelmed by the (pleasant) scent of the hairspray used on me.

  21. poop. I watch it rarely (ok, I watch it when stu has it on) and had NOT tracked. I am going to HAVE TO FIND a way to watch it on the computer (video does not work here). Is it available – anyone know – to watch or download? DAMN I’m so sorry I missed it, Laura.

    Poop. Pigeon poop.

  22. Andi,

    Someone posted a youtube link on the FB thread. I can’t bear to watch it, but it’s part of the long comment section under the photo.

  24. Thanks, Laura. I’m still green with envy. And now Marjorie and I are going to have to battle it out for the right to moon over our Craig. ;)

  25. Colleen, you want me to moon Craig????? LOL.

    I think I like and appreciate his range of personality as it that goes from the ridiculous to the sublime; silliness with hand puppets one night and heart breaking conversation on the death of this mother the next.

  26. You know what? Every woman of my acquaintance has “confessed” to a crush on Ferguson since I went public about the appearance.

    Me, I’ve been a fan since his Drew Carey days.

  28. The only guilt my Kindle engenders is the fact that I can’t buy the digital books from other bookstores. I like to spread my book-buying dollars around.

    I also feel that the Kindle reading experience is slightly “lesser,” akin to watching movies at home versus going to the theater. A book is more than just words — its design is part of the experience and when “The Circus Fire” looks like “My Booky Wook,” which looks like “Untethered” (three books currently on my Kindle), it changes the experience.

  29. “I also feel that the Kindle reading experience is slightly “lesser,,,,”

    Also, I have had the pleasure of having my real paper-made hardcover books signed by both Laura and Laurie R. King (favs’o'mine) in the past few months. It is a neat feeling to be reading the book that was held, however briefly, by the author. Kindle just won’t do that for you. I have few signed books (one from Kurt Vonnegut as well), but the ones that I do have are dear to me.

  30. Laura, I just watched the You Tube clip. You were fabulous! Gorgeous, charming, articulate and perfectly at ease. My favorite part is the remark about tears streaming down your face in Glasgow and nobody noticed or reacted. Damn. That belongs in a book.

  31. fyi Kathy (or whoever), after several comments here, I went looking on the Facebook page and also never found the elusive youtube link referred to – but after a few moments at “the google” came up with this

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0Uc0sHWWoY

    Re Kindle (etc) – my cranky-old-guy opinion is, books need to be physically present and not electronically represented, period. And Marjorie is exactly right about signed copies – I have several from various Lincoln scholars (such as Harold Holzer and Douglas Wilson and James McPherson), and – for no reason I can specifically cite – it is a pleasure to hold and read and own such books

  32. Thanks for mentioning that Elinor Lipman (whose books I love, too) has a new book out.

    Will reserve it at the library asap.

    Hope I can find your interview on Craig Ferguson’s show somewhere on the Internet as I missed it somehow.

  33. Just caught the YouTube clip (sorry, I was traveling on Thursday!) and it was absolutely delightful — you have a great TV _voice_, besides all the beauty stuff…

  35. An iPod plays music and video; a Kindle is an e-reader for text, books and periodicals, and is proprietary to Amazon. (You have to order everything via their store, which is delivered through a wireless connection.)

    But it’s hard to pirate a book from the Kindle AFAIK. It’s just a device and Amazon has ZERO interest in making it easy to share/”lend” copies from Kindle to Kindle. That is, in fact, the chief complaint I hear from Kindle readers: When they fall in love with a book, they can’t just hand it to someone.

  36. Thanks Laura. Because I’m both an environmentalist and a huge reader, my husband bought me a Kindle. I’m still unsure about how I feel about the technology as I love books. I’d hate to be inadvertently supporting piracy.

  37. Thanks so much for the full skinny. For any Craig fans who want a big taste – get Saving Grace on DVD. He wrote the screen play and acts along with some magnificent British acters.

  38. Thursday night (Friday morning). John Waters was just on Craig Ferguson. On his show, I mean. Craig specifically mentioned Laura by name in regards to her interview and what she talked about in regards to Mr. Waters! Coolness.

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