Brains and Legs

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I have a strange weakness for a subgenre of SciFi movies about technology involving the human brain — Brainstorm (best known for being Natalie Wood’s last film) and, even more so, Strange Days, which persuaded me that Angela Bassett should be an action hero. In both films, inventions allow people to feel what someone else has experienced. Inevitably, the technology is abused to the point where some people fry their brains. In Brainstorm, for example, one man plays a tape that allows him to experience someone else’s threesome over and over and over again, until his brain is a quivering blob of jelly.

That’s why I don’t dwell on good reviews. So, moving on. I’m in Denver, where I’ll do two events tonight. At the airport today, I was given the option to pay a little extra for “economy plus,” which offers more leg room and it was the best $39 I ever spent. My inseam is about 35 inches and some plane rides can be pretty punishing. This was grand — except for the man in the middle seat, who crossed his legs in such a way that his (shoeless!) foot was definitely in my space. Really, he should have paid me seven bucks. What is it with men and personal space on planes? I hate to generalize and I’m sure some men will chime in with stories about women on planes, but this is a chronic problem for me when I travel.

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24 thoughts on “Brains and Legs”

  2. Okay, generally I let men get away with everything until I notice. BUT…ever since I was 24 and exhausted on the 7 train coming home to Queens, what I have done is

    SHOVE

    and sit.

    I also elbow the elbow off on planes, because fuck them.

    It is BRACING.

  3. My problem is when I get stuck in the middle seat and the people on each side of me keep hogging the arm rests. My feeling is that if you are stuck in the middle, you should at least get an arm rest, if not two! I ususally try to sit on the aisle and I always leave the inside arm rest for the middle person.

    Now don’t get me started on the way guys sit on the subway, effectively taking up two seats!!!

  4. The last flight I was on, I tipped my seat back about half of the distance it would go, only to have it shoved sharply back forward by the man in the seat behind me. Not, “excuse me, could you raise your seatback,” or whatever, just a growl and a slam.

    What. EVER.

    I’ve also been graced by some wonderful seatmates in the last year, though. One guy took one look at me last June (on a relatively empty cross-country flight) and said, “you look like you could use some sleep… let me move seats so you get this row to yourself to stretch out in.” I hope that blessings will rain eternally on him and all his ancestors and progeny….

  5. Yes but you just sit on them! They move aside…IN SHOCK. Yes, strangely, I would like to sit too, thanks.

    With the shoe….I think I would just sigh and expand myself like a man and sort of shove my legs out COMPLETELY into his space temporarily so he was forced to withdraw, and then just keep doing that if he got out of line.

    I mean, it’s a shover’s market.

  6. I.could.not.confront.the.sock.

    (Man, I think I should write a haiku in which that’s the middle line. Okay, contest time! Submit your haikus in which “I could not confront the sock” is the middle line, and I’ll give you alcohol the next time I see you, your choice. Including rubbing alcohol.)

  10. The only time I’ve been able to get into first class is when they accidently assigned my seat to someone else so into first class and then they want someone to agree to help people out the door in case of a crash. The extra leg room is worth telling them I’d do whatever they needed in case of a crash. I used to fly a lot from Sitka to the lower 48 for job related conferences. My favorite destination was DC but in the winter the stop in Minneapolis always caused the wings to freeze up and so they had to defrost them and so for a gal who is 6ft tall it was great to have the roomier seating. The weather seems to be even harsher there than it is here in Alaska most times.

    Oh and I hate that elbow sharing thing too. Before we know it there won’t be any seats at all just straps to hang onto like the subway. ;-)

    On another subject I just finaished What The Dead Know and I loved it. I have to say that of all the things that I thought might be coming I never even thought of what did come at the end. Great book Laura, you’ve really written a great story. As much as I want to talk about it I will restrain myself for a time so people get to read it and have the discovery for themselves.

  11. I have bad plane habits. I read whatever the guy next to me is reading, though I try to do it surreptitiously. I did this coming back from Italy when the guy next to me was reading David Sedaris’s latest – I had just finished it on the plane ride TO Italy and I think I really annoyed him by laughing ahead of him.

    I’m also awful for watching movies with when I’ve already seen the movie in question. I watch the person I’m with for their reaction to parts that are coming up. I’m surprised no one’s killed me yet.

  12. Welcome to Colorado!

    “Okay, contest time! Submit your haikus in which “I could not confront the sock” is the middle line, and I’ll give you alcohol the next time I see you”

    Once again, I wish that I had at least one or two creative brain cells, since tomorrow night will be “the next time I see you” and alcohol would be a good thing at this point! I mean, how hard can 10 more syllables be?! But, alas, I think that they are beyond me.

  13. Well, I’m a sucker for free alcohol, so I will take my shot. My dog woke me up at 4, so I make no promises in terms of quality.

    Stupid shoeless man;
    I could not confront the sock.
    Wish I had a bat.

  14. Oh well:

    Go Facconables!
    I.could.not.confront.the.sock;
    But elsewhere perhaps?

    Yes, the sock will move.
    Four inch heels or pointed toes
    Aimed so carefully!

    Enjoy your trip up to the mountains tomorrow.

  17. warm sweaty cotton
    i could not confront the sock
    elbow jabs unconsciously

    last time we flew I was assigned an aisle seat and there was another couple seated next to me…Soren was seated on the opposite aisle…and miraculously the plane wasn’t full so I just jumped seats and both couple were happy…it doesn’t happy often but it sure was a nicer flight!

  18. shiny polyester
    i could not confront the sock
    i wore pantyhose

    I have one syllable too many but….
    Laura’s talk at Murder By The Book in Denver was delightful. Those of you not on the tour route be envious, be very envious!

  20. My space he did mock.
    I could not confront the sock.
    So I bit his c—

    I’ll collect AFTER our panel this weekend. See you in Virginia.

    And in case you were wondering, “c—” stands for “calf.” What else?

  23. I absolutely notice this on planes too. there are unspoken rules for appropriate seat invasion. If you’re in the middle, you get extra compensation to use both arm rests, only because you’re in the middle, and the two outside can lean one way. But if you are sitting WITH someone in one of the seats, you give the armrest to the odd man out. And the foot thing (especially – BARE?!?!?!? gross) is unacceptable. You should do as my David threatened to do and finally DID follow through on – and put painter’s tape down the middle of our bed, to see who was crossing over to whose side. This would work with foot man.
    Again I say…EW.

  24. On a transatlantic flight, the man in the seat next to me not only removed his socks but cut his toenails. Had I been on the aisle I’d have gotten up and given him some privacy, but I was in the window seat, so could only close my eyes and pretend to be asleep.

    Six miles in the air
    I could not confront the sock.
    Where is my blindfold?

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